Tuesday, March 19, 2013



TRAN THI KIM DUNG: VERSION 1_Process essay

On special days, it is a good idea to send your most beloved people bunches of flowers, but you may not like to wait for florist to make up your bouquet or to wait in a long queue. Another trouble is that the person you want to send gift is too far from you. However, if you order flowers online on Interflora website, the UK’s longest serving flower delivery network, all trouble above will be addressed. These following steps may help you to place an order for our products and services more easily.
First of all, you need to visit our website (http://www.interflora.co.uk/) to get full picture of our services. If the recipient lives in Britain, all kinds of bouquets in our catalog are usually available, but there are only a limited number of gifts to people in other areas.
Therefore, if your recipient is in Britain, there are a wide range of choices for you. The next stage is to find what kinds of bouquets sent to your beloved person. You can search for products by entering keywords or flower type in the search engine on the right corner of the screen, or based on categories which are suggested on the left of the screen such as shop by flower range, shop by occasion, shop by plant range, etc.
If your recipient is outside Britain, before searching the product, you have to give us the recipient’s address by clicking the button ‘international’ on the toolbar. There do we give you a list of areas and countries. After choosing the place, a list of available bouquets in that area will appear on the screen.
In both cases, you can find the types of products that suit you more quickly by choosing criteria in ‘Sort by…’ part on the left corner of the screen. We also give you more information about each item, including name, price, type of delivery, ect. under the picture so that you can choose what you want.
Next, choosing the item by click on its picture, and then finish the information about size of goods, delivery options and delivery details in the boxes on the right of screen. Afterwards, click the ‘order now’ button, which is under the third box.
You can make your gift more special by clicking other suggested items in appearing boxes; otherwise, click the ‘continue to shopping basket’ to move on to the next phase. In this task, it’s very important for you to review the order to make sure everything is OK. If you have a promotional code, enter it in the box next to ‘use this code’ button to get discount from our company. Afer checking the item ( and add promotional code), click ‘continue’ button to carry on your order process.
Next, fill in delivery information as well as write down the message you want to send. Once the information is completed, click ‘continue’ button to go to the next step: complete payment details. You have to choose one of the given payment types so that the transaction can be done easily.
Afterwards, check the order summary again. It’s a very important step because we will use this information to make your order . Finally, don’t forget the order confirmation number in the email we send to you after the order is placed. You can you this number to check whether your gift has been delivered or to find out the status of your recent order in ‘order tracking’ part of our website.
The process to place an order on our website will be very simple as long as you follow all the steps above. Therefore, if you still have any trouble with order process, please have a look at this page or contact us direct on 0844 248 0248.



VERSION 2: TRAN THI KIM DUNG _ PROCESS ESSAY

On special days, it is a good idea to send your most beloved people bunches of flowers, but you may not like to wait for florist to make up your bouquet or to wait in a long queue. Another trouble is that the person you want to send gift is too far from you. However, if you order flowers online on Interflora website, the UK’s longest serving flower delivery network, all trouble above will be addressed. These following steps may help you to place an order on our website more easily.
First of all, you need to visit our website (http://www.interflora.co.uk/) to get a full picture of our products and services. All kinds of bouquets in our catalog are usually available in Britain, but there are only a limited number of items in other areas.
Therefore, if the recipient is in Britain, the next stage is to find what kinds of bouquets sent to your beloved person. You can search for products by entering keywords or flower type in the search engine in the top right-hand corner of the screen, or based on categories suggested on the left of the screen such as shop by flower range, shop by occasion, shop by plant range, etc.
If your recipient is outside Britain, before searching the product you have to give us the recipient’s address by clicking the button ‘international’ on the toolbar. There do we give you a list of areas and countries. After the place is chosen, a list of available bouquets in that area will appear on the screen.
In both cases, you can find the types of products that suit you more quickly by choosing criteria in ‘Sort by…’ part in the left-hand corner of the screen. We also provide more information for your reference ,including name, price, type of delivery, etc. of each item under the picture.
Next, choose the item by clicking on its picture, and then fill the information about size of goods, delivery options and delivery details in the boxes on the right of screen. Afterwards, click the ‘order now’ button, which is under the third box.
You can make your gift more special by adding other suggested items in appearing boxes to your shopping cart; otherwise, click the ‘continue to shopping basket’ to move on to the next phase. In this task, you are asked to review the order to make sure everything is OK. If you have a promotional code, enter it in the box next to ‘use this code’ button to get a discount from our company. After checking the item (and add promotional code if any), click ‘continue’ button to carry on your order process.
The next step is to fill in delivery information as well as write down the message you want to send.
Once the information is completed, click ‘continue’ button to go to the next stage: complete payment details. You have to choose one of the given payment types so that the transaction can be done easily.
Afterwards, check the order summary again. It’s a crucial step because we will use this information to make your order.
Finally, don’t forget to save the order confirmation number in the email sent to you after the order is placed. You can use this number to check whether your gift has been delivered or to find out the status of your recent order in ‘order tracking’ part of our website.
The process to place an order on our website will be very simple as long as you follow all the steps above. Therefore, if now you still have any trouble with the order process, please have a look at this page or contact us direct on 0844 248 0248.

4 comments:

  1. dear Dung,
    after reading your essay, i have some comments as following:
    firstly, i am very impressive with your way of expressing your ideas in a process essay, each steps is relevant to others. congratulation!
    however, i still have some vague problem. for example,in the second paragraph, i don't understand what the last sentence "there are only a limited number of gifts to people in other areas" means. what does "gifts" mean? is it free gifts as a promotion of your company or a bouquet? you should say it more clearly. besides, you have some small grammar mistakes.
    i hope that some of my comments will help you be better at the next essay. thank you for your interesting essay.
    best regard,
    Thoan

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  2. Dear Dung,
    After reading you essay, I have some comments for you.

    - First of all, about the strong points:
    I find you instructions easy to follow. And the transitions are quite flexible.
    In general, I think this is a good essay.

    - Secondly, about the weak points, I think there are some things you need to consider.
    + In my opinion, the sentence "Therefore, if your recipient is in Britain, there are a wide range of choices for you." (the first sentence of the third paragraph) should be the last sentence of the second paragraph.
    + One more thing is about the spelling mistakes in your writing, such as: the phrase "choosing the item" in step 3 must be "choose the item", "You can you" in the final step must be "you can use.

    - Finally, it may be better if you can enhance the important button names, or important steps, or just make a clearer space between 2 steps so that the shoppers can read the instruction more easily.

    Hope that these comment can be useful for you when revising the essay!

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