Process easy_ Bùi Thị
Loan
http://www.ebay.vn/
Nowadays, with the
development of technology, shopping online has become more and more popular in
the market. There are many different shopping websites on the network. Among websites, eBay is one of the world's most
venerable online companies—not to mention one of the most endlessly emulated
and discussed. So, how to buy
product online on this website. That bellow
are three steps when you want to purchase online at http://eBay.vn.
Firstly, in order to buy product on
eBay.vn, the customer must create a eBay
account at website http://chodientu.vn to become a membership on this web. After that , you access to http://ebay.chodientu.vn
Secondly,
searching product that you want to buy. You decide whether to use keyword search
or to browse by category. Then, you enter keyword ( the name of product) in “Search
box”. However, the system of eBay website is always to have “advanced search”
that you can search product effectively. For example, you are finding out
Logitech LX7. Click on “advanced search” button, you type Logitech LX7 in Search box or Search title and description.
Finally,
you want to put in an order. Before, you decide to purchase product, you should
check about not only information of product carefully but also method of
payment, review product description, shipping details, payment instructions ,
return policy. To do this, let’s browse “ask seller a question” section. After,
you received answers from seller. You decide whether to bid or buy it now. If you
decide to buy it now. Click on “buy it now “ and confirm the purchase on the
proceeding page. When item won, let’s click on “pay now’’ to select method of
payment ( paypal, credit card, money order/ cashier’s check, personal check). After
that, you have finished all the above steps. You are
successful buying online at this
websites.
Dear Loan,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your essay, I have some comments as follow.
Firstly, I want to talk about your strong points. your essay has a clear introduction which contains the thesis sentence. Besides, you also illustrated the process of purchasing products on eBay website, which is quite easy to follow.
Secondly, as for the weak points, I think that there are a lot of things you need to improve. For example, you should clarify your steps and mention the importance of each step in order to make your essay more persuasive. You also make mistakes in verb tense ( received answers from seller => (will) receive..., not ‘you are finding out..’) and fragment sentence ( If you decide to buy it now. Click on “buy it now ...“ ). And personally, I think that this sentence ‘However, the system of eBay website is always to have “advanced search” that you can search product effectively’ should be changed into ‘ besides, this website also have available function of advanced searching which can help customers to look for deserved items in specific details’. Moreover, you should pay more attention to word choice, preposition, article and S-V agreement as well. I hope that my opinion will be helpful to you in the second version.
Best,
hoangtrang
Hi Loan,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your esay, I have some comments for you.
For strong points:
- your essay is organized clearly.
- your essay is useful because it helps me know more about how to buy online in eBay.
For weak points:
- you should more consider about how to organize sentences, choose words
+ I think u shouldn't write "Nowadays, with the development of technology, shopping online has become more and more popular in the market". I suggest that u should write "Nowadays, with the development of technology, online shopping has become more and more popular all over the world.
+ "There are many different shopping websites on the network" sentence is unnecessary
+ "So, how to buy product online on this website. That bellow are three steps when you want to purchase online at http://eBay.vn." I think u should connect 2 sentences
+ "a eBay account" -> "an eBay account"
+ u should edit topic sentence in the first paragraph. I suggest that u should write "Firstly, the customers must access to http://eBay.vn. in order to by a product from this website, they have to create an account by clicking on .... u should add more detail so that readers can understand easily what u mean and how to follow each step.
+ "You decide whether to use keyword search or to browse by category" is unnecessary.
+ "However" -> "Besides,
- I think u should consider carefully when write topic sentence. sentence should be short and show clearly what each step is. u can use some structure "the first step is + Ving/to V" "the important step is...", "... is also a important steps because..."
- u should add conclusion to your essay.
- in your version 2, u must remember to express the importance of each step in the beginning of each paragraph.
That's all I want to say. Thank you for your reading. I hope that some my comments is useful for you to write version 2