Topic:
How to book movie ticket(s) online.
Watching
movies is now becoming one of the most favorite activities of people when
having free time. In the past, we normally go the movie theater and then get
ticket(s) there. However, nowadays, with the development of technology, buying
tickets becomes easier than ever. Let’s take MegaStar cinema for instance.
Booking ticket(s) should be followed three steps: access to the official
website which is www.megastar.vn;
fill some information; go to the cinema to receive booked ticket(s).
First
of all, using computer or smart phone which is internet access to opens www.megastar.vn.
Then, you can see in the left column the words “Booking online” and three rows
below are the information that you need to fill in. There are “Choosing
theaters”, “Choosing movie” and “Choosing date”. It is optional so you do not
need to choose all three rows. After that, you click on “Search” to continue
the process.
Next,
a new tab which shows time will be appeared. Then, producer will ask you to sign in with
your registered email and password so that they can confirm whether you really
want buy ticket(s) or not. In case you do not have account, you can make a new
one. You can find “Register Now” is next to “Sign In”. After you sign in, you
will choose your sit(s). With MegaStar, they offer you a lot of coupons with
many benefits so that you can click on the one that you prefer.
Finally,
“Successful booking” will be shown in your screen in order to inform you that
your requirement is accepted. However, when booking online, customers have to
come to the cinema 45 minutes before the movie start in order to take the
tickets; otherwise, the order will be cancel. It is noticeable that, when you
receive ticket(s), you should check all the information on it to avoid
accidents.
Hi Tung,
ReplyDeleteYour process essay is quite good generally, it mentions to an interesting website which is very famous. Your writing is very logical and easy to understand. However, you made some mistakes here:
- Verb tense: In the past, we normally go(went) to... and get(got) tickets there.
However, when booking online, customers have to... before the movie start(starts)...
- Verb form: when showing the steps, you should use Ving form so it should be accessing..,filling..., going...
- Articles: you should add “a” before computer or smartphone in the 2nd paragraph.
- You have a lack of the conclusion, I mean that you have to make a paragraph of the conclusion which summarize all above steps.
I hope that my comments will be useful for you!
Best,
Huong
Hey dear,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your process essay, I have some comments for you according to the peer review sheet. I will try try my best to make it clear to you.
* Firstly, I would like to mention my opinions about the content of your process essay:
- In the introduction, I think you planned the development very good. I mean that I like the way you listed all the steps at the beginning so that the readers can easily have the over view of this process. Moreover, the background information of booking tickets and all the items is also included to carry out this process smoothly and clearly.
- In the body:
+ All the steps are organized logically. You use not-too-long sentences that make the instruction effective. However, there's one more thing that makes me I wonder. I mean, how can I make an account for this if I dont have one?. I think this step is also quite important, so it will be easier to follow if you explain it in detail and include illustration for all the buyers.
+ It is a good idea when you explain the important of each step although you put it at the end of each paragraph. The transitional sentences are used also.
- In the conclusion: As Hương said, you may forget this part so please add it to enhance your process ;)
* Secondly, besides what Hương has listed, here are some grammar mistakes I guess you might make by accident. In detail:
- 1st paragraph: you wrote "Watching movies is now becoming one of the most favorite activities of people when having free time". In my opinion, we cannot use V-ing after "when" in this sentence because the two clauses don't have the same subject.
- 2nd paragraph: it seems that the clause " using computer or smart phone WHICH IS internet access" is not correct. I suggest you use "WITH" instead.
- 3rd paragraph:
+ You wrote "a new tab which shows time will be appeared". I am not sure whether we can use "appear" in the passive voice or not, so could you recheck it :D ? Sorry in advance if I was wrong.
+ You miss the article before "account" in this sentence: "In case you do not have account.."
+ I think it should be "seat(s)"(a noun), not "sit(s)"(a verb) in this sentence: "..you will choose your sit(s)".
- 4th paragraph: You miss the -ed in this case: "..the order will be cancel."
I really hope that my comment will be helpful for you in the second version. Thanks for consider all my words, and once again sorry if I listed something wrong with your writing. Overall, you did a very good job. Keep trying and make some improvement for your last version :)
Thanks you guys for giving me a lot of detail feedback so that I can improve my writing. There are number of grammar mistakes and I think I should take it seriously from now on.
ReplyDeleteWhen people having free time, a number of options will appear in their mind such as shopping, having meals, playing sport, etc,. Recently, watching movies is now becoming one of the most favorite past time – activities. In the past, we normally went to the cinema and then got ticket(s) there. However, nowadays, with the development of technology, buying ticket(s) becomes easier than ever with booking online. In Viet Nam, Mega Star is always in the top choices of people because of its high quality and professional service style. Hence, let’s take Megastar movie theater for instance so that we can book ticket(s) with no difficulty. That process has three main steps: accessing to the official website which is www.megastar.vn; filling some information; going to the cinema to get booked ticket(s) and enjoy the movie.
ReplyDeleteIn the first step, using a computer or a smart phone with internet access to opens www.megastar.vn. Then, you can see in the left column the word “Booking online” and below it are three rows with some information that you should make some choices. There are “Choosing theaters”, “Choosing movies” and “Choosing date”. It is optional and you still can make a decision after that. When you are done with this step, click on “Search” to continue the process.
Next, a new tab which shows time will automatically appear. Then, producer will ask you to sign in with a registered email and password so that they can confirm whether you really want to book ticket(s) or not. In case you do not have an account, you can create a new one by clicking “Register” which is next to “Sign In”. Some information are required in order to create a new account such as real name, day of birth, country, email, etc,. After singing in, you will choose your seat(s). With Mega Star, they offer you a lot of coupons with many benefits and you can click on the one that you prefer; otherwise, you can take normal ticket(s)
Finally, “Successful Booking” will be shown on your screen in order to inform you that your requirement is accepted. However, after booking online, either you – customer – come to the cinema 45 minutes before the movie starts in order to take your ticket(s) or your order will be cancelled. It is noticeable that, when you receive ticket(s), you should check all the information on it to avoid accidents.
Booking online saves a plenty of time for customers. They can book when they are at home or at work or almost anywhere else. Three steps that are mentioned are three main steps. During the process, you may have some exceptional items; but do not worry, just follow the given instructions or contact to Mega Star’s customer service for more information.